PIE CRUST CHRIST

Withering Heights is at the centre of a media storm this week as the face of Jesus Christ has appeared in the crust of a Wimberry Pie made by Mrs Greenwood of 3 Temple Drive. " I always make a Wimberry of a Tuesday," the 53 year old mother of three said. " And our Michael had just cut into it and there it was. The face of Jesus, there in my crust." Mrs Greenwood then called Father Grimshaw and told him what she had discovered. " He came straight away and was as shocked as we all were when he saw the face of the saviour in the crust," Mrs Greenwood and the priest carefully put the pie in a box. Fr. Grimshaw has contacted the Bishop of Leeds, who was unavailable for comment but it is believed that he will be arriving tomorrow with a Papal Nuncio based in London. A member of the Withering Women's Institute, who wanted to remain anonymous, has said she was very surprised that 'Our Lord' had appeared in a pie made by Mrs Greenwood, as she had never won won first prize in the annual Withering Pie competition. She went on to say that, "If the son of God was to appear in any pie in the town then surely he would have appeared in those made by Mrs Higginbottom, who had won 'best pie award,' six years on the run." Mrs. Greenwood's youngest son, Fred, has placed a photo of The Pie Crust Christ on Youtube and so far there have been 285,000 hits in one week.


Withering Blog.

Death by Planning Committee! Two hours at the Town Hall listening to Councillors bore for England about drains. Lesbian Pole Dancing Club, Dykes and Tykes With Mics, will not be appearing in this Pennine Market town any time soon. Memo to editor and proprietor of Withering News and my wife, Miranda. I never, ever want to go to another planning meeting. Ever. One developer handed me a copy of CONCRETE QUARTERLY to pass the time. I would rather pay my own way to the Digitas clinic in Switzerland. Miranda, you can go instead and hone your shorthand skills.
This morning, SHE left me details for membership of the gym. I'm genetically predisposed to look like a Toby Jug. Crunches and the treadmill will just propel me to an early grave. Death by healthy living. Letter to solicitor....My wife ,the editor , El Presidente is trying to kill me but at least I'll look ripped in the coffin. May strap her into an armchair and make her watch multiple repeats of TEAM AMERICA. The battle of the loo seat continues.